In an unintentional continuation of Sunday’s post, we are talking a little more about my recent self-reflections.

In examining who I am, I also examining the person I don’t/didn’t want to be. When I began taking my sense of style more seriously, I often downplayed myself in order to avoid being labelled an attention-seeker by proxy of the way I dress. I’ve always hated the idea of being someone that likes attention. The thought that I could be mistaken for someone that needed the approval and attention of others is something that highly irritated me because it reminded me of a past self that I’ve (thankfully) grown out of.

All that aside, I’ve always loved the attention my outfits got from people for a number of reasons;

Primarily, my outfits hold a tight connection to who I am and how I’m feeling so it feels great to connect with someone without having to say a word. It’s powerful to choose what parts of my collective being that I will show (figuratively and literally) to the world and the validation that my self-expression is received is a warming feeling.

Finally, I’m human and we all love compliments.

I’m extremely proud of the fact that my style is easily recognized in any place I step into. That type of self-confidence and assertion took me many years and struggles to develop and I’m not willing to diminish that because someone might think I like attention.

My style is one of the ways I separate myself from the general populace and make an identity that’s not conflated with those around me.

Many of teen years were riddled with a deep lack of self-confidence and when I turned the corner from awkward kid that can barely look at herself to someone that spent hours playing dress-up alone, I knew that I could never be in the shadows again.

I wear outfits that push me out of my comfort zone because that’s an opportunity for growth and a deeper understanding of who I am. 

I wear outfits to inspire and remind other people (especially black women) that don’t fit societal beauty standards that we do not need permission to look fly.

We don’t need to be skinny to be fly.

We don’t need a huge bank account to look fly.

We don’t need permission to show out.

We don’t need permission to express ourselves.

In this outfit, I’m wearing a vintage chiffon slip paired with my ultra-red wool coat & snake-skin red boots.  You need to have some self-confidence in the bank to rock a look like this.

While I was out, people stared at me, some people probably didn’t make the best comments and some people gave me some nice compliments but that’s all very minor because I felt an inner confidence that couldn’t be diminished by anyone’s nasty looks or comments.

There’s something powerful & exhilarating about doing what makes you happy without giving a solitary f**k about whether people like it or not.

When I wore these red boots to the office, my colleague commented something along the lines of “I’ve always wanted to wear shoes like that….How do you wear them?”

I told her, “Just wear them and go.”

I wear funky pieces that many people wouldn’t because I really do enjoy standing out. I love wearing a funky piece with confidence and rocking the hell out of it.

One thing to keep in mind is that, like everything else, confidence is on a continuum. Some days, I feel good and some days, I don’t. Some days, I may not feel beautiful or stylish and that’s okay.

How do I deal with those days, you might be wondering?

The approach is always the same, put on an outfit, tell myself that I look amazing and hold my head as high as I can.

Sometimes, I might sneak in a little crying session & that’s okay.

We are only human.

The key is to keep going, despite the low moments because for every moment where I felt insecure or less than beautiful, there will be countless moments where I feel extremely content with everything I am.

Now, that my ramblings are over, here are the details on this ~look*

Bag: Zara

Beret: F21

Dress: Vintage

Shoes: Mango

Jacket: ?? ( I don't remember where I got it & its tag is gone...sorry!)

Hold your heads high and wear something that normally scares you. It'll be great, I promise.

'til next time!

love & light,

Rachel.